How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant?

Telling your parents you are unexpectedly pregnant is not a conversation most women are confident and happy to do. Fear, shame, and dread are more commonly the feelings young women experience when faced with such a task. The overall sense of disappointing one’s parents and having them mad at you is frightening. Here are some key things to keep in mind when preparing to talk to your parents.

  • Take Time – Take time to process the information yourself. Breathe. Cry. Breathe some more. Cry some more. This is a life changing event. Life changing events come with big feelings that can take your breath away. Taking deep breaths helps stabilize you. Big emotions overwhelm our bodies, so tears are a natural way to release this inner energy and will eventually calm us. Do not be afraid of tears. They will not last forever.
  • Talk – Talk to a trusted friend or family member to process through your thoughts and feelings. Writing down your thoughts and feelings may also be a way to process through what you are experiencing.
  • Take Some More Time – Do not feel rushed to tell your parents. No one can tell you are pregnant for months so do not think “everyone will know by looking at you.” You have time to prepare your thoughts and action plan before telling your parents.
  • Put Yourself in Your Parents Shoes – Your parents want the best for you. They want to see that you can become a responsible adult. Having a baby speeds up your transition into adulthood from gradual to supersonic. This is a major concern for parents. Help them to begin seeing you as a maturing person who is ready to do what it takes to continue growing into the best person you can be by preparing yourself for this conversation.
  • Get Answers – Getting as many answers as possible to your questions and the questions you think your parents may ask is a mature way to prepare for your talk with your parents. Take time to think through and explore all your options. Research names of doctors, health insurance coverage, how to handle school or employment, childcare, the role of the father of the baby, and what you need from your parents. Get the information you can and if you cannot find it for some of these topics, state that to your parents. Say, “I know I need to research this area more and I may need to ask you questions on how to go about finding the answer but if you guide me, I will take it from there.” Don’t be afraid to ask for their help as you explore all your options for adoption, parenting, or abortion.
  • Be Realistic – Pregnancy and parenting is not a one-person journey. Moms need other people. Moms do not have all the answers, energy, or emotional make-up to go it alone 24 x 7. So, when talking with your parents, be honest about your concerns and uncertainties as well as your strengths and assets.
  • Read the Room – Pick a time and place when your parents are relaxed and have time to focus on you and the conversation. You may set a date and time to discuss with them some ideas for your future or take advantage of an unplanned quiet time to talk to them. You know your parents best. You may want to talk to one parent at a time or to them together. Trust your gut feelings on this topic.
  • Time to Settle– Just like you went through a lot of emotions when you found out you were pregnant, it may take your parents awhile to process their feelings. Allow them time to be mad, disappointed, preachy, or other undesirable responses. Try to remain calm. Listen to what your parents have to say and acknowledge their feelings. Then give them space, if needed. You need to take care of yourself and not try to make things better. Some things take time. You let them know you were pregnant, you have a plan to move forward, it’s up to them if they want to support you or not. Often, most parents will eventually come around and be a support to you and your child.

You Have Support

No matter what happens, you can turn to us at Birthright Counseling, St. Louis, for help in this critical time. We can provide you with professional pregnancy counseling and offer support programs that can assist you as you navigate your options.

Contact us today to get connected with a caring counselor.

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