“I can’t believe this is happening to me! Why now? I just finished college, and I am ready to start my career. I worked hard to get through school. WHY ME? My friends and I took a senior trip to celebrate our graduation. We all got a little crazy drinking and hooking up with people on our trip. Why am I the one who ended up with the positive pregnancy test? I feel so stupid and angry at the same time. I just can’t believe this is my life. What am I going to do?”
Many young women’s pregnancies happen at the most unexpected and “worst” times. You are not alone feeling blindsided by a positive pregnancy test. Birthright Counseling suggests focusing on the following ideas to help reassure you that you will be okay.
- Feeling shocked, fear, anger, embarrassment, and other overwhelming feelings are normal and will pass. You will not be stuck feeling overwhelmed. Breathe in and breathe out several times and just acknowledge you have just received life-changing information. Your mind and body need time to wrap your brain around a different future.
- Find a safe person or call Birthright Counseling to verbalize what you are thinking and feeling. Name all your fears, doubts, and frustrations without being judged. Express all your anger and confusion about what is happening. Begin to feel safe that you are not alone in this experience. At least one other person is there to listen and help you take the next best step for you.
- Give yourself time to choose how to handle your pregnancy. Rushing into a decision regarding raising your child, placing your child for adoption or abortion are all serious and emotional choices. This decision is one best made after the flood of emotions has settled and you can process your options more clearly.
- Tips on making this decision: When your mind and body have quieted down, take time to remember who you are. What are your values and your understanding about each of these three options. For many women, they do not think about parenting, adoption, or abortion in detail. They just have a general positive or negative feeling toward each option. Take time to find out more about these options and talk to someone who will listen to your heart and not just try and tell you what they think is best for you.
- Life is full of curveballs. As a college graduate you are well familiar with stress and being challenged. You have weathered the emotional rollercoaster of college life and relationships. You have grown resilient to the bumps and bruises of life. You have experienced the feelings of self-doubt leading up to a test, being unsure you prepared well enough, and fearing that you might fail because you did not memorize everything about the topic. Time eventually ran out and you took the test. After the test, self-doubt reared its head again as you waited for the test results. Thoughts filled your mind, “Did I answer that question right? Did I do “good enough?” Well, as you read this blog with a college degree, it appears you did do “good enough.” Trust in your ability to face challenges head on and succeed. It is what you have been doing all along.