October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Birthright Counseling, St. Louis would like to call attention to abuse and domestic violence, especially as it relates to pregnant women. We realize there is no easy answer for a pregnant woman walking away from an abusive relationship or currently in one. Two things are certain: 1. Many women have gone on to live happy lives apart from their abusers, and 2. Talking with a safe, non-judgmental friend and/or professional is key.
A Client’s Perspective
Just my luck, I break up with my boyfriend and now I find out I am pregnant with his child. It took me many tries of “breaking up” with him to finally leave him and begin living a life without him. It felt good to be away from his lies, yelling, put- downs, and near misses of hitting me.
I remember so many friends and family members warned me about him. I even complained to them countless times of how he has let me down, but I could never fully leave him. He was always so sorry for his anger towards me. His childhood stories of not being loved by others kept playing in my head. I did not want to be another person who made him feel unlovable. We promised each other to love one another no matter what. I hate the thought that I am making him sad. I look at all the pictures of us on my phone. We were so good together. We got one another, made each other laugh, and told each other things we never told others. He was my best friend.
If he wouldn’t hang around his drinking buddies, I think we could have made it. He was a completely different person when he drank. Once, he almost went 4 months without drinking. If his boss wasn’t such a jerk, he wouldn’t feel the need to drink.
Oh, who am I kidding, once I realized his reasons for drinking kept changing but his drinking never changed, I found the courage to pack my one bag of clothing and leave it all behind. A clean break. I did not want to bring any memories of him or us with me. Now here I am with the biggest memory of him- his baby! I will never be rid of him.
You Are Not Alone – Get Help
Although this story is a combination of many stories shared with Birthright counselors over the years, each woman’s story is unique and painful. There is no easy answer for a pregnant woman walking away from an abusive relationship or currently in one. Two things are certain 1) many women have gone on to live happy lives apart from their abusers, and 2) talking with a safe, non-judgmental friend and/or professional is key.
You can always contact Birthright Counseling, whether you are pregnant or not, and our counselors will gladly make referrals so that you can move toward safety. Local organizations such as Saint Martha’s, Jadasa, The Women’s Safe House, and ALIVE offer quick, direct assistance. Or seek 24/7 help with the National Domestic Abuse Hotline.
Birthright counselors offer free safe places for pregnant women to find their way to living a violent-free life. Our counselors are experienced in the areas of trauma, domestic violence, mental health, substance use, housing, support systems, community resources, and more. Birthright would love to help you in your journey.
Contact us today.