October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Birthright Counseling, St. Louis would like to call attention to abuse and domestic violence, especially as it relates to pregnant women. We realize there is no easy answer for a pregnant woman walking away from an abusive relationship or currently in one. Two things are certain: 1. Many women have gone on to live happy lives apart from their abusers, and 2. Talking with a safe, non-judgmental friend and/or professional is key.
Discovering you’re pregnant can be a lot to handle, but if you’re in an abusive relationship, it can also be overwhelming and frightening. Navigating this situation requires immense courage and strength, and knowing that you are not alone is essential.
If you’re in immediate danger, don’t wait – call 911. You should also prioritize your safety by reaching out to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. It’s available 24/7, so you can get support right now.
Whether you’re just beginning to recognize the signs of abuse or have been living with it for some time, this situation is not acceptable, and you have the option to change it.
Abuse During Pregnancy
Experiencing any form of abuse during pregnancy, such as verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, or spiritual abuse, is not only emotionally and physically damaging but can also have severe health consequences for both you and your baby. Any form of abuse is never okay.
The stress and trauma associated with abuse can significantly increase the risk of a miscarriage or lead to early (preterm) labor, which can pose additional complications.
For some, the hope is that abuse will get better after pregnancy, but the reality is it often gets worse.
Acknowledging the abuse is the first step towards taking back control of your life.
The Cycle of Abuse
There is a cyclical pattern of domestic violence. It begins with a partner exerting control over another and creating tension, there is then an explosive incident, then there is calm with reconciliation, and finally a honeymoon phase where everything in the relationship seems fantastic.
Arming yourself with a knowledge of this cyclical pattern of intimate partner violence and common abusive behavior can allow you to see possible red flags in a partner and remove yourself from a relationship before it is too late.
At first sight, as an abusive partner tries to gain control, it comes across as loving or caring. Women often don’t recognize this early sign of a controlling partner because they enjoy all the attention. As an abusive partner exerts control, tension builds in the relationship with women being torn down through verbal abuse. Verbal abuse then escalates into physical abuse or other explosive incidents. After the explosion phase, there is reconciliation where an abuser is apologetic and the relationship seems to get back on track. The couple experience a honeymoon phase following reconciliation where they are happy and enjoy a typical relationship again while tension builds up to the next explosion.
Don’t wait for violence to escalate before taking action.
Get Help
You can always contact Birthright Counseling, whether you are pregnant or not, and our counselors will gladly make referrals so that you can move toward safety. Local organizations such as Saint Martha’s, Jadasa, The Women’s Safe House, and ALIVE offer quick, direct assistance. Or seek 24/7 help with the National Domestic Abuse Hotline.
Birthright counselors offer free safe places for pregnant women to find their way to living a violent-free life. Our counselors are experienced in the areas of trauma, domestic violence, mental health, substance use, housing, support systems, community resources, and more. Birthright would love to help you in your journey.
Contact us today.